Edward Hopper - New York Movie
(my favourite Hopper painting)
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'have you ever been alone in a crowded room?'

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The twenty minutes in school today was absolutely terrible so I left. It's as though all the colours were drained from this world and I was the ONLY one feeling that way.

It wasn't the fear of being SEEN alone, I don't fear the looks of others anymore. Anyway in actual fact there were people all around me. It's just this entire... empty space engulfing me even though there were people around me. So I went to school hoping I'd meet people but left knowing that wouldn't even happen. I got so sick of the feeling I had to leave. Thoughts about yourself are THAT powerful.

I thought about stuff on the bus and tried to be logical about it. Then I went home and watched dramas and played the piano to put my emotions in other areas, which kind of worked. Dramas can amplify certain emotions in you and help you forget about your bad ones momentarily.